CLICK HERE FOR PHOTOS OF THE 2010 MEN’S SPRING RETREAT

Steve Wozny • April 14, 2010

You might notice a difference in some of the men at SPC.  They’ve “put their rocks on the table.”  They are determined not to “let someone touch their milk before they pour it on their cereal.”  Once again, God did some good work among us some weekends ago at the Stony Point Men’s Retreat, entitled “Christ and Man – The Death of Commercial Christianity”.  Besides hanging out with Dimas Salaberrios and picking up some Bronx-ese, the weekend was stuffed with God-work on hard projects – men’s hearts. They might be the hardest of all rocks to crack, but open they did.  Many SPC men may look back at this weekend as a milestone where God took them to a place they have needed to go for a long time.

I am always amazed at this paradox.  Have you noticed that even if you’ve been on many retreats, it’s an act of faith just to get out of the house for one?  Something always seems to grab you with some good reason for not going.  You’re too tired – run down, really.  Even not-so-good reasons seem suddenly enticing.  You need to change your oil, fix your mother-in-law’s plumbing, or clean the gutters.  This is all of us.  We prefer to hide and ignore the problem.  Or wear our Sunday masks like armor – letting no one in and (sadly) no one out.   What grabbed me right from the start of this retreat was that Dimas anticipated this, and we were consistently challenged on a number of man-issues, each of which Dimas reminded us were “every man’s battle.”

Before I get into this stuff, some words need to be said about our accommodations at Bear Creek State Park.  Ladies, it was truly a hardship, but we took it like men.  The brand new, modern, high ceiling chalets were a tiny bit ostentatious and a bit big to be cozy, but we dealt with it.  The steaks on Saturday night were huge and a bit thick, but we couldn’t let them go to waste.  Unfortunately, we spent all sunny Saturday afternoon playing boring old sports.  And you certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed at all the constant conversation and moments of deep sharing.  Too emotional and transparent!  Too willing to admit our need of God!

Indeed, the food, fellowship and worship were superb!  In fact, the digs and grub organized by the Francis-Park-Maroon team had once again their signature stamp of excellence the men have shamelessly come to expect.  One of the things I most enjoy about SPC’s Men’s Retreats is the ebb and flow of conversation.  Inevitably, friendships are forged or renewed as guys get a chance to hang out in a less trivialized way than (sadly) Sunday morning.  In fact (preceded by an excellent time of worship led by Garret Maroon and a Michael Bryant rap song about Dimas that can best be described as “sick in a good way”), Dimas gently mocked our PCA standard two-minute “greeting” during Sunday morning worship by contrasting it with the idea of a full, hang-out sincere, take-your-time greeting.  We knew we were gonna be challenged this weekend.
One of the first things Dimas shared on Friday night was his experience of going to Haiti to help during the recent earthquake.  Actually, it was his story of how he made the decision to go there.  As the situation unfolded in Haiti, Dimas felt God was calling him to go.  So he and his three buddies saddled up and were ready to ride.  But what Dimas shared next threw us all for a loop.  It seems each of the four guys’ spouses did not in the least think they should go!  Each came up with great reasons for them to stay home.  At this point, the average guy would have succumbed to the logic.  But Dimas is not an average guy.  Despite the heavy opposition, Dimas was certain this was God’s idea for him to be in Haiti.  So despite strong opposition, he went.   No matter how you might like to parse it, this “Uh-oh” moment was all about leadership – a thing we men often struggle with.  So Christ and Man – The Death of Commercial Christianity began with a big challenge to be unabashed leaders.

Since I have been going to SPC for six years, a staple has been the Saturday morning breakfasts and testimonies of guys in SPC.  If a retreat is like a great feast, it was quite fitting that Dan Larramore gave his testimony this Saturday morning.  A mere side dish of scrambled eggs it wasn’t!  It was an amazing banquet of God’s grace, and it perfectly set the stage for what Dimas shared next.  Wanna see grown men squirm?  Put ‘em in a circle and talk about three things: their walk with the Lord, their role as leaders in their home, and how they deal with sexual temptation.

Dimas put three questions in a plain paper bag.  Each guy picked one “by chance.”     It was awkward, difficult, and frightening to answer – but it was liberating, too.  One of the themes of the retreat was to drop the masks we wear.  It was a very powerful moment, to get the question and try to answer it honestly, and it was a holy time to listen as we all sensed Christ among us.  We were reminded that we are not alone in our struggles.  I think each of us was challenged in many ways by not only our own responses, but in how we listened to others.  Fittingly, later Saturday evening, the guys heard of the small groups going on in SPC.  The three questions were a big arrow to encourage the men to get down to discipleship, not the status quo, commercial Christianity.

A lot more can be said, but all too often more is said than done.  Dimas preached to us Sunday morning to go the extra mile.  Transparency, leadership, discipleship – these may be taught in a weekend, but can only be learned in a lifetime.  There’s a reason our retreat is held in spring.  A smile, an honest word, a meal together, a sharing of struggles – we men hope these will grow and bear fruit in our relationships, but we need to go the extra mile and disciple one other and our family if we want to be real and not fake it to ourselves and to the world.  We need to man up.  I hope God uses this weekend for years to come.

The Legend of Dimas Salaberrios

This is the legend of Dimas Salaberrios
Listen up good dudes – ‘cause this is serious
The punk becomes the man
The fool becomes wise
And ends up preaching to the Stony Point guys

The legend got started when Dimas was born
He was 6 foot tall – like a stalk of corn
Dimas grew up in the usual way
Thinking only of himself
Going his own way
He was running with the crowd of ill repute
He was doing any drug he could smoke or shoot
Beating up the boys that he didn’t like
Hitting on the girls then taking a hike
He was rapping up a storm that was fast and loud
He was saying anything that would please the crowd
He was cussing
He was fussing
He was doing his thing
He was selling his soul to make the cell phone ring
All his pockets were full of money
On his left & right there was a real hot honey
He had everything that a man could want
Showing off everything a man could flaunt
But on the inside Dimas was nothing but void
His heart was empty and his mood annoyed
He tried everything that a man could try
Nothing he would do could ever satisfy
Like King Solomon

He can’t get no satisfaction
He can’t get no satisfaction
He can’t get no satisfaction
When he was riding ‘round the world
He was doing this and he signing that
He was trying to make some girl
Telling him baby come back next week
‘Cause I see you’re on a losing streak
You can’t get no…
Oh no, no, no
Hey, hey, hey
That’s what I say

He was living the life – but it was a lie
Dimas, the legend, was ready to die
There was too much pain
There was too much sin
Enough’s enough
Why not just cash in?
But one day when Dimas was out on a limb
He remembered that Jesus Christ died for him
Jesus lived the life that Dimas should have tried
And Jesus died the death Dimas should have died
And on that day Dimas fell to his knee
Asking God to save him
Begging please, please, please
Please, please, please
Please, please, please

The rest of the story is his to tell
Serving the Lord & staying out of hell
The living legend lives on today
Preaching the Gospel in the Bronx River way
Loving the Church like it was his wife
Living the dream of abundant life
We’re real glad to have him preach to us
Long as he don’t go old school and cuss
So come on Legend
Don’t be egregious
Open your Bible
And tell us about Jesus
Come on, Dimas Salaberrios
Dimas Salaberrios